Quotable Kids

It's been awhile since I've shared a funny anecdote from our home. Lack of material isn't a problem because my boys say crazy stuff ALL the time. The first few weeks back to school are a big adjustment for them me as I no longer have my slaves children home to do my bidding help around the house. I'm tired!

Scene: in the bathroom, brushing teeth for bedtime. I'm in the kitchen doing dishes.

Brett: Mom! Bryce put ham in the sink drain.
Me: What? Bryce put WHAT in the sink drain?
Brett: Ham. There's a few pieces of HAM in the sink drain.
Me: (thinking....we haven't actually eaten ham in a while, so what could be in the drain. Note-I am not interested in actually looking in the drain myself.)
Me: Naw, that's not ham, it's the top of a pencil, it's the eraser. (because I already knew there was a pencil in the drain but I'm not sticking my fingers down there to get it!)
Brett: It really looks like ham.
Me: Brush your teeth! (see-avoiding the topic of "ham" in the drain.)

Ok, so the kids go up to read, I still avoid the alleged ham in the drain.

Later that evening, when Brendan is going to bed....

Brendan: Mom?
Me: (I'm in bed watching a rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond." Don't judge.)
Me: Yeah? You going to bed?
Brendan: Yeah, but I think you need to know that Bryce put ham in the drain.
Me: (laughing hysterically because now if Brendan is saying it, it's likely true.)
Me: Ham? Brett said the same thing, but we haven't eaten ham in weeks. Are you sure it's ham?
(because clearly, the fact that there is some sort of food in my drain is less important than determining what type of food it is.)
Brendan: Well I suppose it could be bologna, but it's cut really strangely if it is.
Me: You sure it's not a pencil eraser? (again, I know there's a pencil in there.)
Brendan: Why are you laughing? It's going to smell if we don't get it out.
Me: (still cracking up that Bryce put "ham" in the drain.)
Me: I'll look at it in the morning.
Brendan: (goes off to bed, muttering to himself...)

This morning, I looked in the drain. Yep. Pencil is still in there and on top of the pencil?

HAM.

Life With Boys!!